Sex is our most primal form of communication. There are levels of sexual expertise. Become an expert. Cautious , careful, caring practice helps.

One day in a nail salon the technician asked me why I wrote a book about sex. “Everyone knows how to do it”, she said. Without thinking I responded; “ Everyone knows how to do nails, just some people are better at it than others.” Her face registered many reactions. Not another word about sex was said.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, too old for sex, too ill for sex, too unattractive for sex, or too alone for sex. Despite Madison Avenue, the media, and the medical world telling us that only young is sexy, the truth is that each of us can be sexy for all of our lives—far more sexy than most people imagine. ( Please, if you are over 50, don’t roll your eyes here). While it’s true that sex does change as our sex-drive hormones begin to fade after 50, but our core sexuality lasts a lifetime. Sex never dies!

Sex is just too primal, pleasurable, and good for us to give up as far too many people do. Dry vaginas, vaginas that hurt, penis that don’t  work on  command or demand, low labido and a host of other issues convince many that sex is for youth. And youth is by passing sex more than ever. We have an American lack of connection crisis in the making. At any age, sex can keep you healthier and may help you forget about your worldly woes for a while. Sex  and love) individually together are better together. Good sex with an orgasm or two tossed in, is  simply good medicine.

After 50 (and even after 90), we need not believe we shall never have a partner again. While loving sex with another may be best, second, third, fourth and other choices are perfectly fine. We don’t need to toss out our condoms or hang up our vibrators as we grow older and wiser. Sex and sensuality are integral and permanent to life, and there is no reason, if we are physically able, not to enjoy both for the rest of our days.

However, it takes some new knowledge and effort, and maybe even some new ways of thinking about yourself and your partner, if you have one, to enjoy sex.


  1. Knowledge is our most powerful tool.
  2. Learning how to touch is up there with top skills needed.
  3. Understanding you own body is crucial.
  4. Being comfortable within your inner and outer Self helps.
  5. Knowing another’s body is good.
  6. Most people make love the way they want to be made love to. Learn what your partner’s preferences may be.
  7. A slow hand may help the turtle win the race. Though Sometimes being a hare can be fun.
  8. Communication: Verbal and by Touch is essential.
  9. Be neither a Prude nor Prurient. Authenticity matters.
  10. Patience truly is a virtue.