Contrary to popular belief, and perhaps to the dismay of our children who do not even want to think about it, or admit it, FiftyAndFurthermores are doing it. Yes, there is a difference in our sex lives now; it is not the same concept or the same mechanics of our youth. As I have often said, “As hormone driven sexuality wanes, the opportunity for new kinds of sensuality gains.” With added years, sex can be pretty wonderful, and in fact for many, it’s an opportunity to have the best intimacy (read sex) of our lives. However, sometimes getting all of the players past “go” takes some creative ingenuity.

I’ve worked with couples challenged by sex and relationship issues for about four decades. However, I was recently reminded of some of the mechanical complexities of keeping all of our working parts well-greased with our added years. Humbly, I admit, I thought I had heard it all. I am familiar with prescription and over the counter lubricating products like Astroglide and KY and all the other sex aids, but suddenly my friend popped out with, “I use Crisco and it’s great.” Now, I’m old enough to remember Marlon Bando calling for butter in the then-edgy film, The Last Tango in Paris, so I was familiar with the fact that cooking products are often used to heat the bedroom to a sizzling boiling point, but Crisco was a new one to me. “Yes,” she said, “It’s soluble, works well, is inexpensive, and easy to find in any supermarket.”

I mentioned my new-found discovery to my husband who looked at me with disbelief at my naiveté. “Hon, that’s been around forever in the south. We all knew about it as kids growing up.” Oh well, even the most experienced professionals always have something to learn. When it comes to sex between consenting adults, there’s no right or wrong. You have earned the right to use whatever tricks of the trade that float your boat.

What are your (non X-rated) bedroom secrets?

Previously Published in 2008