Menopause is often confused with men-o-pause (as in men having to “pause” their hormonal urges)? This is rubbish. Let’s give this entire topic a different spin. For starters, look on the bright side – no more monthly periods, bloating, back aches, headaches, cramps, “moods.” Sure, ya gotta do something about all the other side effects that may occur. But that’s for another article. Let’s stay on the upswing and remember in certain social circles and European countries, an older woman, often past menopause, was considered the only suitable teacher for a horny young man. So, after you figure out what is going on with your body and what you have to do to grow into your new sexuality, start lovin’ life over fifty. It’s pretty good.

So, what exactly is menopause anyway?

Primarily, it’s a hormone (estrogen) withdrawal that can be equated to similar reactions to a heavy duty drug withdrawal. That’s what causes all those hot flashes and cold sweats and mood swings. The fact that this process can take from months to years ensures that your body isn’t going to go cold turkey from producing major amounts of estrogen to losing this most cherished hormone. Finally, your periods stop and menopause is officially yours.

There are standard Estrogen Replacement Regimes (ERT), Eastern remedies and everything in between to help post-menopausal women cope with decreased estrogen. My person rule of thumb, however, is that, whenever you can, use a product that’s close to the source and doesn’t go through the bloodstream or is only minimally invasive. Many physicians consider a vaginal estrogen insert a good alternative for keeping walls lubricated, which keeps intercourse from hurting and allows you pleasure. And for most of us post-menopause, we also need to eat well – not just for health but to help our libidos as well.

So, what do men got to do with it? Well, sexual desire usually shifts some after menopause. But contrary to all the ads telling us 60 is the new 40 (rubbish again – 60 is the new 60) and the fact that we don’t yet have a pink Viagra, post-menopausal woman can be sexier than ever. Menopause does not have to equate with men-o-pause. It does, however, mean changing your sexual self concept, “sis.”

1. Love, or at least come to terms with, your butt and whatever else may have sagged or grown. You are still a sexy woman.
2. Consider that as hormone driven sexuality wanes, sensuality gains.
3. Be your authentic self. The integrity that comes with years is what you’ve gained. It’s sexy.
4. Sexy is as sexy does. Which means, be and act sexual in your own unique way.
5. Love a good man with all you’ve got. And if he’s not a good one, consider making a change.
6. If he’s a good one and needs some education, put in the effort.
7. If you haven’t got a man and want one, don’t pause and don’t believe the bad PR that says there are none around. There are, and unless orgies are your thing, all you need is one.
8. Even if you pause and shift gears some, remember that your sisters are good for you. Being together with other women produces the “live life longer” hormone oxytoiyn. Keep up with me on FiftyAndFurthermore, and I’ll fill you with info on that wonderful hormone as well.

Previously Published in 2008